what a celebration...

I'm curled up on my couch, sipping on left-over, re-heated, mulled cider from Thanksgiving and reflecting on what a fun time it was. I got to spend some much-needed time with my mom. We were between the kitchen and various grocery stores for most of the time, but man, it was way easier to cook Thanksgiving dinner for 10 people with her help. Practice makes perfect I guess! Our dinner was lovely and so much fun.

Ma and me on Thanksgiving. (That's Jamie's new baby, Remi, that I'm holding!)

It was a great, great day. I feel thankful that I got to cook and invite friends to be a part of it all! 

We also celebrated Andrew and Jamie's birthday and had such an amazing dinner in the city, followed by drinks with friends. Andrew said it was the best birthday he's ever had. How awesome is that? 

My gift to him was a new record player and the start of what I'm sure will be a huge collection of vinyl. He was really surprised and is now "DJing" every minute that he's at home!

This is my new favorite photo of us. It was a really happy night with lots to celebrate!

And here's one of the birthday twins. Here's to a great new year!

Now it's almost Christmas and I'm along for the ride! I'm going to embrace the holiday-ness this year. Looking forward to getting out of the city and heading to the mountains, seeing family and spending time with friends. Then once it's over, I'll allow myself to have my "count down to spring" attitude.

More soon!

give thanks time...

To start, here's a photo from our little disposable camera that I finally got developed after our beach trip this summer. (That's Andrew in his element, too.) Love the colors.

Unbelievably, Thanksgiving is less than a week away! And I am so excited! I have always loved Thanksgiving, obviously because of the food, but the whole day is always so perfect. As a kid, I would wake up to the smells of turkey and stuffing wafting into my room and would head downstairs to the kitchen to see what I could snack on. My mom would always have the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade on TV, along with cheerful music playing, and cinnamon scented candles burning. Those smells... there is nothing like it. I would immediately start eating uncooked stuffing out of the giant silver bowl that it was mixed in. I have this weird and powerful addiction to stuffing. When stuffing is near, I really lose sight of reality. I would keep snacking until my mom would remind me that there were raw eggs in it and that I'd get sick if I kept eating. If you know me, you know that is the one thing that would stop me. At some point Johnny and I would take photos with the raw turkey. I am laughing just thinking about it. (I tried to make Andrew take photos with me and the turkey last year, but he didn't think it was as funny as I did.)

It's just such a low pressure holiday. Everyone is happy, hungry, and ready to be uncomfortably full (and then eat pie). I love that! Just accept it, people! You're going to eat like a pig and then eat more! One day a year, this simply must be okay. (Unless you're me and you eat like a pig for consecutive days until there isn't a leftover in sight.)

Andrew and I are hosting Thanksgiving at our apartment for the second time this year. It's really special to me to be able to do this. I just really love it. I'm not sure what else to say. But it is definitely tricky in New York. We have no dining room. We have no chairs. We have no space. You get it. But we make it work. And this year, my mom is coming! So all the magic will happen. Last year was delicious and fun, but a little rough around the edges. This year will be polished and perfect and look beautiful too! There's an attention to detail that my mom has that makes the good things great. I will take photos. I promise!

It's also almost Andrew's birthday! I love a reason to celebrate him, so obviously I'm excited for this too! I'm happy that Thanksgiving can be a little bit turkey and a little bit birthday party. He's so great and I'm so proud of him every single day. I'm so lucky to get to share my life with the best person I know. Andrew, happy birthday! You are amazing and I love you.

Another fun thing about Thanksgiving is that if it's Andrew's birthday, it's Jamie's birthday! Thanksgiving twins! Double turkey birthday party celebration! Jamie, happy birthday to you, you lovely lady! Great things are coming your way. (Everyone, I might have more news about Jamie soon! Hint: it could possibly be a baby cousin for Trinny! Another hint: She's not having an actual baby.)

All of this mixed up with family and friends coming to visit is definitely going to be a memorable few days! Right now, the count at our table is 13! I am picking up my 20 pound, free range, organic turkey that lived a very happy life on a farm in upstate NY tomorrow morning at 10 a.m.! So yes, I am excited. I will post photos of the whole ordeal. I am thankful for Thanksgiving, and all that it reminds me of, and all that it stands for, and all that it creates. Here's to tradition and new memories! Enjoy, everyone!

let's see...

The last week-ish of time has held a variety of things. Some work, some play, of course a few dog walks, then a long sleepless night with a sick doggy, a beer braised pork shoulder (I'm still working on cooking the right amount of food for 2 people, that thing was 4 pounds!), a ballet class, a lack of participation in Halloween (except for over-eating candy), a small gathering of friends at our place for pizza and beer, lots of love and energy to and from my family, a visit from my dad (I know!),  my lovely friend Jess, from college, is engaged, exciting! Sprinkle in coffee and wine, a sore throat and a hot toddy, and that kind of sums it up... I think.

I can't believe how fast time is passing. Halloween is over and we are less than 3 weeks away from Thanksgiving. How bizarre!? I'm still trying to hit my breaks from summer, seriously.  I'm looking forward to turkey day, of course. I think it's my favorite holiday. I'm hosting dinner at my apartment again this year. Last year Andrew and I cooked for 17 people! It was pretty ambitious, but we actually came out on top. I think this year may be a bit simpler. My mom is coming so that takes some pressure off, plus I'm thrilled to spend some time with her! Then comes Andrew's birthday! Then mine, then Christmas and New Year's Eve, then... yeah, sad, snowy, winter. BUT... the way time has been flying, I'm actually not that worried. I usually dread winter so much, but a few months is nothing. We'll get through. And the fact that Andrew and I are probably going to be able to join my dad, Johnny and Justine in Florida for a few days after Christmas definitely helps. I'm done wasting my time on nonsense, worrying about what people think, and putting myself on the back burner. No more of that! Clearer thought and intention, cleansing breath and following through. I'm ready for 2012, it's my year! (You're welcome for the pre-mature pep-talk.)

I'm not sure what else to say tonight. One of my downstairs neighbors is brewing beer- there's no mistaking the strong smell of steeping grains and boiling yeast- it's distracting me. Trinny is snoring loudly next to me on the couch. I'm going to put clean sheets on the bed and start a new book. I'll post photos from my dad's visit soon!

Don't forget to turn your clocks back!

NY Fall #3 (!)

Rain always brings such a chill. It goes right through you and makes it really difficult to do anything but cuddle up under a blanket. I want some hot apple cider, but that means going out into the misty, windy day and I might need another cup of coffee before I'm ready to do that.

It is so very fall outside. It's actually beautiful, despite how chilly and unpleasant the rain makes actually being outdoors. This time of year always brings me back to the fall that remained the same until I moved to New York. Growing up in the mountains of Pennsylvania, fall was such an eventful time. We would visit pumpkin patches, play in the leaves, go on haunted hay rides; all of the cliched activities that everyone thinks of at this time of year. But in New York City, there are no pumpkin patches, but bodegas that sell pumpkins by the pound. There certainly are no fields to house a haunted hay ride or cornfield maze, and if you want to play in the leaves that have fallen, well, it's probably not a good idea. Also: West Virginia! My college experiences were hardly different from the seasonal changes at home. It's just so different here. Literally, there is nothing I can think of that is the same as living anywhere else in this country. 

As I look back, or take a moment to step back and assess, I have adjusted to what it is to be here. The timing, the style, the attitude... I get it. Everyone is here for a purpose. The opportunities are endless, just oozing out of every nook and cranny. I guess that's what is a bit uncomfortable for me. Feeling so unsure about my direction makes it hard to take a step. Although I do accept the fact that I'm the only thing standing in my way. People come here to find themselves and make themselves. It's a 24/7 process. You have to work hard to be able to afford New York. Then when you have time away from work, you have to make the magic happen... so there is no down time. I'm trying to grasp this, searching for the motivation and the inspiration, and trying to let go of my need to control the situation because obviously, it's out of my hands. 

Being here in the beginning was a shock. I think I built some barriers around me for protection, but now I feel that it has opened me up, rounded me out. I have seen some seriously intensely interesting things (for lack of better words). I feel quite aware and surprised every day. Although it's not what I thought it would be, (it never is though, is it?) it is something, that's for sure. And I am far from finished with this city. New York has everything. If only I had a big yard and a house on the beach, I think I could be quite happy here. Considering the fact that this isn't going to happen, well... I'll make the best of it for now. I wonder where I'll end up... where I'll live when I'm married and have babies and if I'll ever get to design the perfect house. Will it be big enough for my kids and their friends, my friends and my big noisy family? Sometimes I feel like I can picture myself as a happy old woman who spends her days laughing with her soul-mate-husband and a lifetime of beautiful memories and the excitement for what's coming next.

home...

So Andrew and I have purchased a new toy. A toy that will allow us to document our lives and be able to look back and remember what we looked like and maybe capture a little bit how our lives felt. When I tell stories that start with "when I first moved to New York..." now I'll have some proof! That's right, ya'll. We are big kids now. No more disposable, 5 mega-pixels, blurry, unfocused junk! We bought ourselves a real live camera!

I wanted to give everyone who hasn't seen our apartment a little view of what we've been working with. We've lived there a whole year now, and it's really quite a great place. We've made it our own and feel really happy about our little home. Plus, Andrew will kill me if I come up with any more projects or bring home any more paint swatches. So this is it!

This is part of our kitchen. Lots of coffee brewing, wine drinking, and cooking have happened in this room. We're so lucky to have such a big kitchen. I wish you could all come and let me cook for you.

This table was in my mom's first apartment. I love it. Also, some of Andrew's prints on the wall. 

My world... I need to spend more time in this little nook.

And this is Andrew's space. We split our little 'office' right in half!

Our room is great. When we moved in, the walls were a really bright, sunny yellow. We thought we liked it, but as you can see, the walls are now a dark grey-blue. Very cozy and sleepy.

How lucky are we to have a tree right outside our bedroom window? I love seeing the leaves. It makes everything in the apartment so colorful.

I'm sure there are a million things wrong with this photo, but I just really love it. The view out of our kitchen window...

This one too...

Another window shot, this one in our little bathroom. I just love the light and how the fabric looks. 

Of course, Trinny is a permanent fixture in the living room. The couch always looks just like this. She really has a way of making herself comfortable. 

Now hopefully you have a somewhat clearer idea of how things are going for me. I feel lucky seeing these photos. Trust me when I say I've seen some pretty scary living situations in this city! 

Come back soon... I promise there will be something to see!

it's October...

Hello,

I'm not sure how, when, or why, but summer came and went. I felt like I was present for it, but somehow it seems that I missed it. It passed me by. It's October 4th! As you may or may not know, I'm a summer time/beach life lady. Why am I in New York City? Well... that's the question.

It's been a strange few months. Not that you would know because I haven't updated you, have I? Well, I couldn't seem to put my finger on the way things were going and how I felt about the passing weeks, hence my lack of posting, again. Sorry! I just haven't been quite sure what to say. I'll get there though. I do really like the idea of this blog if for no other reason than to keep you, my closest friends and family members, slightly up to date on my life. But if there's nothing to read, well, then there's nothing to read. I'll work on that.

Moving forward, I'm feeling optimistic about this season. (The weather and the non-weather!) It's cold today and a bit of a shock, but there's no time like the present. I'm ready to adjust and figure out what it is I'm supposed to be doing. As of now, I still have no idea. But it's time to jump in head first and get busy. I just need to find my way to the pool. (My directional sense is starting to get a little better.)

I have been feeling very fortunate that I have such an amazing family. My brother is one of the most powerful beings on this planet. Johnny, if you're reading, you're the coolest. So glad you're my friend and you live such an inspiring life. My mom, what can I say about her? Ma, you are everything, heart and soul and life. Teacher, friend, listener. Thank you. You're so brave and I'm so proud of you. Everything is going to be just fine. And if we need to, we'll skip town. My dad probably isn't reading. I'm not sure if he knows how to check email yet. However, somehow we've found a new thing together that works and is allowing us to co-exist. You've been surprising me. You've made some exciting changes, for the better. You deserve all the happiness that's out there. Thank you for teaching me such valuable lessons.

To my Aunt Doreena, if you're reading, I think about you lots and lots, and I believe that although we can't see why, once we come to the end of any given road, it all comes together and then you have any number of new paths to choose from. You're so strong and powerful and you have said many things that remain in my memory, encouraging and supporting me. Thank you. I miss you and hope I can spend some time with you soon. Love ya, mean it, ciao bay-bayyyy!

My friends, although we are far apart, are always with me. Mal, you know I love you and don't know what I'd do without you and your wisdom. Thank you for being who you are. I can't wait to spend some face to face time together. To my little fairy Daphne, who has set back out to sea, you're a little magical sea-nymph. You are exactly where you belong right now and I can't wait to see what happens next. I love you! You should start a blog or a tumblr so those of us on land can follow your travels! My Jenny-bird, you've been on my mind a lot. We need to catch up. I miss you so much. You are the sister that I never had! Come visit me please. Borrelli, you too. You're such an amazing, crazy lady and I wish we were closer. Laura, Chels, Katie, I'm so jealous of how much time you guys get to spend together! I miss you so much and you are all so amazingly beautiful! It's blows my mind. I'll see you guys over the holidays for sure, if not sooner. Ryan, somehow we've found our way into a kind of brother/sister relationship. Do you feel that? I know we give each other a lot of shit, but close friends are hard on each other when they need to be. I'm lucky to have you. T.J. Get up here! I miss you. Weren't we having weekly phone dates? I'm the worst. Can't wait for us to be closer though. It will be so great!

Jamie and Kellsye, thank you... Just, thank you. I'm not sure what else to say. You have to deal with me more than anyone should. And I'm a nutcase right now. Love you both.

Andrew, you're my home. I can't wait for what's next. We are the luckiest of the lucky. And thank you for bringing that crazy dog into my life. Trinny is the best listener ever, and she knows that I'll give her treats after I talk to myself for a while.

I didn't exactly plan for this post to be a little tribute to my people, but that's what came out. As for the future, I won't promise anything too ambitious (blog-wise) so that no one is let down when they check back to see if there is a new post soon... but I do want to keep this going. Plus there's an amazing new coffee shop in my neighborhood (I'm there right now!) and it feels great to get things out of my overly-confused brain, so I might try and make a habit of it.

To anyone that is reading, thank you. Until next time...

obx beaches...

This time of year, I always feel that pull toward the shore...

why the pause?

So here I am, more than a month after my last post and I'm wondering why I haven't written. I really don't know why. I've been excited about this blog as a sort of 'project'. I am constantly scribbling down ideas that I want to touch on here. Just searching for the motivation...

I'm quickly approaching the '1.5 years in NYC' mark and although I feel pretty well-adjusted, I'm realizing that there's still so much to learn about this place. I have been making projects for myself, wrapping my brain around new ideas and hobbies (like this blog), and then tiring of them as quickly as I thought them up. I've thrown myself into the world of food and cooking. I've read food-blogs non-stop, constantly stopping by farmer's markets and bodegas to pick up ingredients for some exciting recipe. Then, out of nowhere, nothing... I even stopped feeling hungry. And there was definitely no inspiration to get to the grocery store and lug everything back home.

I was talking with someone yesterday who asked me the dreaded question, "So, what brings you to New York City?". I really hate this question right now. Truthfully because I'm totally freaked out. I am here to do theatre. I am here to do theatre. I am here to do... The idea is just bugging me. I'm sure that I'm making a much bigger deal about it than necessary, but I feel pretty strongly that it's okay that I didn't come here and immediately hit the pavement. Right? Maybe wrong. I'm really not sure what I should be doing. All I know is that I need to feel at home to feel comfortable. And I do have a great home, finally. Andrew and I are really lucky. We've found a real gem of an apartment that works beautifully for the two of us (and Trinny). So, now what's my excuse?

I explained to this person that I felt out of shape. And when I say that, I mean that I haven't been working on anything specific that would move me forward as a theatre artist. I haven't felt like reading, I've been unmotivated vocally, and simply unsure of where to start. I haven't even seen a show. Then she asked me, "Why the pause?". I don't have the answer. But I feel so very lucky that I have the opportunity to cross paths with people who will ask the questions when I'm too confused to ask them myself.

It's encouraging. When I find that I'm unsure and questioning why I'm here, the world finds some little way to snap me back into reality. I'm realizing that this is one of the hardest things about being on your own. You have to be your own teacher, mentor, and parent. You have to find a way to get yourself up for another day when the easier option is to make excuses and do what feels more comfortable. This life is not about comfort. I have made the choice to move to one of the most intense cities in the world. It's a great place with endless opportunities, but those opportunities don't knock at your door. You have to go search for them and beg them to hear you out, and when they say no, you have to muster up the courage to try again tomorrow.

This is not a post about how my life isn't working out for me. I just wanted to share what's happening in my brain now that I've made a little sense of it and also explain why this blog hasn't had any activity. I'm transitioning into some new place, and it's confusing right now, but I'm thankful for any reality check I can find out there. And I'm so excited and looking forward to when it all clicks.

trinny...

I had to share this photo of our sweet girl, Trinny. For anyone who doesn't know her, she is a pitt bull/mastiff/american bull dog mix and will be 9 years old on the summer solstice. Andrew has had her since she was a baby pup, but she has definitely had a huge impact on my life over the past 3 years. She has been all over with us... at school in Morgantown, on the Outer Banks of North Carolina for almost 7 months, and is now a New York City girl. She's pretty much happy anywhere the sun is shining (and as long as Andrew isn't too far away!).

How sweet is that face? I can't get enough of this photo. 

i've been bitten by the shopping bug...

Since I moved to New York in late 2009, I've been working in an amazing buy/sell/trade clothing store called Beacon's Closet. I am completely amazed every day by the things I see. We 'buy from the public', which doesn't really sound very exciting, right? Wrong... so, so very wrong. When the public that surrounds you is comprised of stylists, designers, and vintage clothing collectors, it's just unbelievable. And not only do I get to see these items, but I am paid to give them a price, attach the tag, and put it on our sales floor after giving the seller their appropriate payment. If there is an item that I want, which happens often, I am able to buy it with an amazing discount. It feels like stealing.


My closet has probably 5 or 6 pieces that I owned before moving to New York. I have traded out almost every single item for something new and wonderful that I love. It's so awesome. That's really the only way to describe it. Just... awesome.


And until very recently, I've been completely satisfied with my wardrobe situation. I haven't felt any need to go into stores, shop online, or spend time in the Garment District in NYC. Then, one afternoon, I wandered into a few of the small, lovely designer boutiques that are in my neighborhood and everything went downhill. I splurged on a beautiful, hand-dyed silk scarf that I really love, but I could have gotten a lot more bang for my buck at Beacon's.

I have been drooling over these earrings for weeks:

(14K Gold Line Stud Earrings by Garnish)

I have to have these earrings. They're too simple and perfect and beautiful. (Where is my tax refund check?!)

Something else I happened upon:

(14K Gold Oval Ring by R. Kopec at PIP-SQUEAK CHAPEAU ETC)

I've never seen a ring so cool. On the store's website, this ring is in a category called "Useful and Not". How fitting, right? Sadly, this is out of my price range. Maybe some day... But I am lucky enough to have this store just a few blocks away from my apartment. It's torture.

Aside from my shopping/spending obsession, I'm excited to say that I've been doing some brainstorming/sketching/research for a small jewelry project of my own. More info to come!

one more thing...

I've been staring at this image on my desktop for a few days now.

I'm going to figure out how to make these and give them to everyone I know. Have you ever seen anything so sweet?! Goodbye, winter! 

i'm back!

Well... I didn't actually realize that my first post was on October 29. I guess I was in hibernation. So, hey, spring! (as I am sitting on my couch in a sweater, drinking hot coffee, trying to ignore that the temperature is around 20 degrees in Brooklyn today) There's light at the end of the tunnel!

I've been so very excited and distracted by food this winter. Food is one of the many things that I have been amazed by here in the crazy city of New York. The ingredients, the ideas, the organic, local, and sustainable options... it's just so, so good. And it has made such a difference for me to know where my produce is coming from, etc., etc.





I have just finished a really great book called The Art of Eating In by Cathy Erway. She lives in Brooklyn, and decided that for the next however-long (it ended up being 2 whole years), she wouldn't eat out in any way shape or form. It's quite and experiment for a New Yorker! I know people who don't ever turn on their stove. Anyway, I would definitely recommend this to anyone who likes to cook. (I even baked a few loaves of bread!..... I know!)



She also writes a blog called Not Eating Out in New York. If you haven't already, check it out. Great recipes and exciting ideas.







I have some more things I want to share with you, whoever is reading, if anyone is reading. : ) It will be sooner than later this time. Really...